There are few things in the world that can’t be accomplished through mutual love and support. The trust and security shared between loved ones is truly magical. It’s also true that love can’t resolve all issues, and when you’re caring for someone with a mental illness or mood disorder, it takes a little more than love for the two of you to remain healthy.
A Caregiver’s Highs and Lows
Mental Health America (MHA) states that approximately 60 million Americans provide unpaid care to someone within their close circle—a spouse, family members, friends, and even neighbors—managing a mental or physical illness. And it’s not just one type of person in the role. Here’s a breakdown from MHA, which we provide verbatim:
- The largest group of caregivers is working and is in their middle-aged adult years. They often care for a child with disabilities and/or a parent with disabilities. Those people who are taking care of both a child and parent are considered to be in the sandwich caregiver group.
- Children ages 8-18 years make up 1.5 million of America’s caregivers. These children are typically taking care of a parent or sibling.
- College-age students also make up a large portion of caregivers. One out of three caregivers is between the ages of 18-29 years old.
- Grandparents are also commonly caregivers. There are about 2.7 million grandparents who care for their spouse, children, grandchildren, or friends. Many of these individuals face substantial health challenges themselves while providing care for others.
Many caregivers wouldn’t have it any other way: they understand the importance of providing consistent quality care, feel closer to their loved ones, and develop resilience they never believed they could achieve.
However, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports, caregiving has many challenges, too. Referred to as “informal caregivers,” millions of individuals struggle in the role because it affects their ability to “work, engage in social interactions and relationships, and maintain good physical and mental health.”
It’s critical to understand how to cope with a loved one’s mental health issues without sacrificing your own well-being. This helps both of you navigate life more effectively.
Create Emotional Stability
If someone you love is struggling with their mood disorder symptoms, it’s only natural to take it personally or think there’s something more you need to do or “fix.” This often puts both of you on an emotional rollercoaster. But keep this in mind: they’re just as responsible for maintaining individual personal wellness as you are.
When they hit a rough patch:
- First, demonstrate empathy for their circumstances. Acknowledge them with something like, “I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. I love you and am here to support you.” This helps them understand that they’re not defined by their symptoms and have worth as a person.
- Then, encourage them to consider aspects of treatment that may be more beneficial. Allow them to weigh the options in an open discussion. Maybe therapy or medication changes could make a difference, but you’re not in the driver’s seat—you’re a companion on this journey and can only do so much.
- Finally, let go of any timetable of healing. We’re all simply progressing, and each individual has to find a way to do this healthfully.
A simple acceptance that some days are better than others seems superficial at first, but there’s comfort in knowing that dawn always breaks after a long night. Foster inner peace through various centering efforts such as meditation, prayer or spiritual guidance, communing with nature, or something else that helps return you to a place of calm.
Expand Your Resource Network
While the needs of your loved one are valid, so are yours. Think of this way: you have to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. This is hard to do at first, especially when you’re in the throes of managing daily responsibilities. It’s easy to forget there are numerous resources available to provide information, education, and valuable support for whatever we might be dealing with—all we have to do is ask for help.
- Widen your circle of support. Maybe someone else can help manage chores around the house and yard, take your loved one out for lunch twice a week, or give you a full day off to focus on self-care.
- Find professional help and a support group. Your mental and emotional health matters, too, so do what you can to get the care you need. Talking with others, sharing the highs and lows, and learning more about your loved one’s illness are lifelines. Some resources that can help both you and your loved one include:
- Focus on physical health, too. Join a yoga class. Form a walking group. Take up pickleball. Whatever it is, group exercise activities break the tether of isolation many people feel as caregivers and as individuals managing mental health symptoms—and the benefits of exercise on mood regulation can’t be overstated.
Support for Both of You at Cottonwood Tucson
All too often, loved ones come to Cottonwood feeling fearful, angry, distraught, and obsessed. Their interactional family pattern is focused around the illness or chaos of a single member, and their ability to care for themselves emotionally, and sometimes physically, can be seriously compromised. In these families, the interactional patterns are stuck and unhealthy behaviors have become logical. But during our Family Program Week, all individuals learn four core elements to create an essential shift in patterns: education, communication training, communication enactment, and multiple family group support. Call us today to learn more.
