How Can You Spot Selfishness in Recovery?

Throughout your addiction, you behaved selfishly.  You were preoccupied with finding your drug of choice, using your drug of choice, and ignoring many opportunities to be social with family and friends.  There is a degree of selfishness in all addicts, as using is the most important part of daily life.  Now that you have decided to begin a program of recovery, you might be feeling like you owe so much to others including your time and your attention.

There is a degree of selfishness that needs to occur in recovery though, as you need to take care of yourself, work your program, and recognize your triggers that can cause a relapse.  Recovery might be the only time it is okay to be selfish.  There is a difference between behaving selfishly during the addiction and behaving selfishly during recovery.

If you need to go to a meeting, then you need to go despite others who might need you for something else.  One goal of recovery is to improve yourself, your relationships, and your situations and just because you go to a meeting versus having dinner with your friends does not mean that you are not considerate of others.  Working on yourself is necessary and over time,

the relationships will work themselves out.

Recovery is about transformation of the self.  You are in a program of recovery to get healthy and to abstain from your drug of choice.  You must be okay with saying no to outside things that may get in the way of your transformation.  At all times, put your sobriety first.  You will also need to learn to say no to situations that could be possible triggers for you.  If your friends do not understand, then they may not be such great friends.  Many people find this difficult to understand but recovery is more important than anything.  You need to adopt this state of mind.

Learn to be selfish in situations that are not worth triggering a relapse.  If you are having dinner with friends and they suggest drinking or visiting a bar afterward, be selfish and say good night.  You do not owe anyone anything but you do owe it to yourself to say no and walk away if needed.

Keep your best interests near you and surround yourself with others who feel the same.  Try to form new, healthy relationships with others who share in your recovery journey.  Recovery should be a time when it is okay to be selfish.  Work the program and do what you need to do to stay sober.