On its surface, perfectionism seems like a desirable trait for a person to have. One might assume that striving for the highest possible performance would lead to fulfillment, achievement, and productivity. Unfortunately, research has not found this to be the case. At Cottonwood, in Tucson, Arizona, we treat a number of behavioral health conditions that are strongly associated with high levels of perfectionism, and we think it’s important for people to understand the negatives associated with it.
The Positives of Perfectionism
There is nothing wrong with working hard, being persistent, paying attention to details, and achieving important goals. These are all correlated with personal, professional, and social success. There is a difference between this type of dedication and the perfectionism that causes people harm. Part of the difference might be the amount and type of pressure that results.
When Perfectionism Goes Wrong
What distinguishes healthy diligence from unhealthy perfectionism is the ability to be satisfied with the outcome of one’s work. If a person is striving for excellence in a healthy way, they are able to be happy with a result that is adequate, but imperfect. Black and white thinking that says anything less than absolute perfection is unacceptable will lead to perpetual frustration and self-doubt. This would be challenging enough for a person who felt the need to be perfect in just one area of their life.
Unfortunately, perfectionists often feel the need to be perfect in every way. Facing constant, unattainable goals reinforced by societal pressure leads to perpetual stress and negative feelings about oneself. This sort of perfectionism has been linked to depression, anxiety, substance misuse, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and suicidal ideation. If it is not treated, it can grow worse over time.
Causes of Perfectionism
It is believed that there are multiple factors that can influence a person to develop perfectionism and also determine whether their perfectionistic traits ultimately become a help or a hindrance for them. How parents interact with their children, a child’s imitation of their parents’ behavior, genetic tendencies toward perfectionism, the peer environment, and the broader culture of the society where a person lives can all play a role.
How Social Media Fuels Perfectionism
There is a tendency for perfectionists to focus on their own shortcomings. They remember every perceived mistake and may even magnify the severity of the imperfection in their own mind, in a never-ending blooper reel. Meanwhile, their social media accounts are full of highlight reels and blatant misrepresentations of the lives other people claim to be living. This false narrative, combined with a perfectionist’s tendency to compare themselves to others, adds fuel to the fire of self-doubt. This is especially true for adolescents and young adults, who are often more susceptible to negative societal messages and pressure to be perfect.
Managing Your Perfectionism
If you’ve recognized that you have perfectionistic tendencies that are causing you harm, you can make changes to address the problem.
- Avoid procrastination. By giving yourself more time to complete tasks, you may find that you are happier with the results of your efforts
- Reconsider your expectations. There is an old adage that “perfect is the enemy of good”, meaning that focusing too hard on perfection will actually undermine the efforts that could be made toward doing something good. Realigning your expectations may make it easier to accomplish progress.
- Setting priorities. By just focusing on what matters most, it will be easier not to get stuck in the weeds of insignificant details, which may negatively affect your perception of success
- Practicing self-compassion. Instead of allowing yourself to fill your mind with negative thoughts after something doesn’t turn out exactly right, practice telling yourself what you might tell someone else in that situation.
Professional Treatment for Perfectionism
Often, when people have unhealthy expectations for themselves, it will result in thinking errors that are best addressed through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapeutic approach helps people to find new ways of thinking about things, including negative self-talk that can undermine self-compassion. It can also help people to realize that they don’t have to be worthy of love, respect, and kindness.
Where perfectionism is also connected to behavioral health disorders, treating those conditions may also require addressing the underlying perfectionism through one or more therapeutic modalities.
Signs of perfectionism that might signal a need for professional intervention include:
- Unattainable or excessively high standards
- Procrastination
- Self-worth is based on achievement
- Overly high expectations of other people
- Fear of rejection
- Ruminating on perceived failures
- Heightened sensitivity to stress
At Cottonwood, we believe in treating the whole person. We recognize that our patients’ minds, bodies, spirits, and emotions are all interconnected and impact one another. That’s why our interventions are not limited to just their substance use or mental health disorder. We see the whole person and seek to promote overall well-being.
